Quit worrying about what they think!!

I have been working hard on accepting myself for who I truly am. Yes, like everyone I have some kinks in my life that I am still trying to untangle. However, I cannot wait until everything is “perfectly aligned” in my life to be genuinely happy. That is something that has to happen today.

It might sound silly, but I know a lot of people who struggle with the idea of ACCEPTANCE and APPROVAL.

ac·cept·ance (n): the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

ap·prov·al (n): the action of officially agreeing to something or accepting something as satisfactory.

If there is one thing I have always noticed about myself (and have actually been called out on recently), it is the need to constantly explain myself to other people. My ideas, my intentions, my thoughts, my actions… you name it, I explain it (haha). I believe I do that because I am subconsciously seeking approval from someone other than myself.

This behavior of constant explanation for approval is not only exhausting, but it probably is not very good for our health.

You seek acceptance to get approval, to ultimately feel good or happy about a decision you want to make, or an action you desire to pursue.

However, in seeking that approval, you may find yourself anxious or stressed out about what the reaction of the other person may be. Will they think your decision is good or bad? Will they call you smart or crazy? Do they agree or disagree with you?… Are you picking up what I am throwing down?! 😉

My point in all of this is, does it really matter what they think? Does their personal input/opinion truly weigh so heavily on your desire to follow through with a thought/action, that you would actually change your mind to be accepted by them?

For so long, the answer to that question for me personally was: YES. I cared so much about getting the approval of others, that I would actually change my course of action, or stop my desire to try something, if it was not seen as acceptable in the eyes of others.

Honestly, that behavior did NOTHING positive for me at all. What it did do was stress me out, make me unhappy, and make me miss out on various opportunities that I could have been enjoying.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences.

Whether it is physically being somewhere, having a certain thought, meeting different people, etc. I think those experiences are happening because you are truly meant to be having them.

My challenge – to myself and others – is this:
Listen to yourself. Follow your intuition. Act on your desires.
BE HAPPY… without the input of others.

Do something for YOU that makes YOU happy, because YOU want to do it… every day!

If people think it is strange, who cares?!
If people look at you like you are crazy, Good!

TinyFey

Follow your heart and open your mind and spirit to all of the things that you truly want out of life. Life is too short to be wasting your time worrying about what other people think of you.

*Disclaimer: I like to believe that I have a good head on my shoulders, so these thoughts, actions, experiences, etc. are all safe and legal (haha). Please do not do anything that could harm yourself or others.

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Aside

Who is your “teacher”?

I regularly attend a Vinyasa yoga class on Wednesday nights. Each week, there is a point at the beginning of class where we set an intention to focus on throughout the practice. This intention can be anything that we choose, whether it be patience, love, strength, happiness, etc.

Last night, we were asked to think about a “teacher” that is highly influential in our life. This teacher could be human, animal, nature, spiritual, literally anything in the world that somehow shapes the person that we are.

The point of picking this teacher, was to imagine that they were there, with us through the duration of our practice. They were there to give us confidence, feed us strength and encourage us to try our best. WearetheSame

I really enjoyed this exercise. There are so many times throughout the day (and I am sure others can relate) that I am hard on myself…too hard. I easily overlook the hard work that I do, and unintentionally focus on the things that bother me. I let these “bothers” outweigh everything else, and that easily sets the tone for how I am feeling. Having my “teacher” of choice there with me throughout the practice to remind me of the ways that I am trying my best and working hard, brought an unexpected feeling of gratitude towards myself.

Although this “teacher” brought me a sense of comfort while on the mat, it also made me think about how we live in a world where we are always seeking approval and acceptance from other people. I have come to realize that we should not need to always seek validation from others, in order to know that we are trying our personal best. YOU are the best person to validate YOUR own actions.   

If I can live each day, giving 110% at everything I do, I cannot be disappointed with any outcome that I may face. Everyone has their struggles, everyone has good days and bad days… the thing that I am working on, is realizing that regardless what each day may bring, I am blessed to be able to experience it.

Namaste ❤ 

WearetheSame


This post was written as a few months ago, and I just found it sitting in my “draft” folder (oops!!). I made a few changes/updates to be more relevant for today!
 Can you tell I have been learning a lot on my mat, which can be applied to the world outside of the yoga studio?!

Lessons from my puppies.

When I look at my puppies, I cannot help but to smile. They are always so happy — full of energy and full of life. Just being around them, I sense a feeling of comfort, like everything is right in their world.

23-peanuts-happiness-is-a-warm-puppy

They are satisfied with their surroundings and content with being in the present moment. (As far as I know) They do not worry about the past and they do not anticipate the future. They just live their life as it unfolds, knowing that everything is going to be okay, just the way it is.

Imagine what it would be like to:

  • Always be happy
  • Be able to get over a confrontation with ease and just move on with your day
  • Have no worries about the world around you
  • Trust that your natural instincts will keep you healthy and in balance
  • Love unconditionally, every single day
  • Etc.

Dexter Selfie IMG_2740[1] Dack Attack LaughIMG_2699[1]
(Pics 1-2 are of Dexter and Pics 3-4 are of Dack)

It is hard not to envy that mentality. Sure, they may be dogs — but I think people could learn a lot from them if they took a moment to truly think about that.

I’ve written about dwelling on the past, and being preoccupied with what the future holds. As frequently as I have these thoughts, I find myself wondering WHY?!

  • Why do I let the past dictate the present?
  • Why do I worry about what may (or may not) come in the future?

I know it is cliché, but I love to think about the American Proverb:
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

First Day

Well I think I need to take those words into consideration. I need to see the present – every single moment – as a new opportunity to begin a new chapter and to embrace change.

I am starting to realize more and more each day, that I am in charge of my own life. I hold the pen to my life story, and whatever unfolds is ultimately up to me.

So  here is a dedication to myself. To remain present in the moment, to not fear the future and to not dwell on the past.
After all, right now really is the first opportunity to start something new and wonderful.

Here we go again…

I feel a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach, after some of the conversations that I have had over the past couple weeks.

I have been confronted a few times from my family and others, about my appearance, and concern with my health. As much as I know they care, and have good intentions with these “talks” sometimes I feel that more harm than good is done for me emotionally. Don’t get me wrong, I see and understand the concerns… but I don’t think it is always realized the impact that these words and confrontations can have on me.

I am an emotional person. I dwell on things, and let them linger and really bother me. Writing is a nice outlet for me, but it still does not resolve the fact that my feelings were hurt and I cant seem to let it go. What makes it difficult, is when I can be having a perfectly happy day, and one little comment of conversation puts a HUGE damper on everything. I can’t pretend to brush it off and smile all the time.

It is time for me to be honest with myself.

In 2012, I sought treatment for my struggles after I hit “rock bottom”. This time around, I refuse to let myself get there. Yes, I have been through a lot of life changes over the past several months, but that does not give me good reason to stop taking care of myself.

I have so much to be thankful for…. I have a new home, an amazing boyfriend (who I see a beautiful future with), a loving family, wonderful friends, strong faith, etc. etc. I feel like these blessings have been hindered by some of the hardships that I have been facing.

I am happy with my life. Yes, I may have slipped, but things have settled down and I have been making a conscious effort to enjoy each and every day.

CURRENT SITUATION:
In all honesty, I do not have the same thoughts and struggles towards food that I have had in the past. Yes, I maintain a healthy diet, but I am not afraid to splurge and treat myself once in awhile when the opportunity presents itself. I still have some hesitation when it comes to random snacking (which is crazy, because everyone should allow themselves the opportunity to enjoy a good snack).

I think now, the main thing that I worry about is exercise. I feel like I need to do something physical every day, and when I don’t exercise, I get somewhat anxious. I have been trying to spend less time going to the gym to lift weights, and more time enjoying yoga (Not go on off topic, but yoga has helped me so much throughout all of this…more on that topic later), walking my puppies to the park, or just enjoying a different hobby. What I want, is to find a healthy balance in my life. I would love to focus my time on yoga and meditation, and finding harmony between my mind and body.

Admitting a weakness is hard for me. But seeing the people I love and care about worry (about me), is even harder. I don’t like feeling vulnerable to this. Every single thing in my life is so wonderful, and it sickens me that I still have to think about this at times. I swore to myself a year ago that I would never go back to the place where I was in my past… I am not there, but I need to really work on keeping myself away (FAR AWAY) from there too.

I am going to reach out to find someone to talk to, outside of my family, friends and social circle. Having a neutral “third party” to vent/talk to has helped me in the past, and I have no doubt that it will help me again.

Let the journey to health and happiness continue…

You are where you are or ever will be is up to you. You are where you are today because that is where you have chosen to be. You are always free to choose your actions, or inactions, and your life today is the sum total of your choices, good and bad. If you want your future to be different, you have to make better choices.
—Brian Tracy

 

Lessons Learned from a Trip Up North

It has been awhile since I have written, and today I feel inspired to write about my trip up north.

My family has a cabin in northern Michigan, where I have spent a significant amount of time at over the years. For my entire life, I have always considered it to be one of my favorite places in the world. It is the perfect “escape” from reality. A quaint cabin on a beautiful lake, in a small town that most people have never heard of…Oscoda.

When I was younger, it was so easy to find time to go up north (I’d go whenever my parents wanted to go, haha). There wasn’t the issue of taking time off work, or having other adult responsibilities competing with my weekends. I have found that as I get older, I spend less and less time up north, and that makes me sad.

Last weekend was Memorial Weekend. For anyone who has a cabin, it is typically the kick-off to summer, and everyone and their brother seems to be headed up north. I was able to escape from the hustle and bustle of Southeast Michigan, to enjoy some quality time with my immediate family.

For some reason, this trip up north really meant a lot to me. Since I have moved out, I don’t have as many opportunities to hang out with just my parents, sister and of course Riley! Although there was nothing super elaborate about the trip, just being able to hang out, talk and laugh, tell stories, play games, etc. made me realize how important these moments in life really are.

Before moving out, I don’t want to say that I took these moments for granted, I just never really realized how much they meant to me.

I have an amazing family. Although we do not always see eye-to-eye on everything and sometimes have our disagreements and moments of tension, I would not trade them for anyone or anything in the world. They are always there to listen to me vent, to make me laugh, to give me advice, etc. Knowing that I always can rely on them, through the good times and the bad times, is a fulfilling feeling that only a family can provide.

So this short, but heart-felt article is dedicated to my Mom, Dad, Sarah and Riley. I love you all, and appreciate everything you do for me, big or small. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you all, and I truly feel blessed to have you in my life.

Brode Family Selfie!!

Brode Family Selfie!!

xoxo

Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts.

Have you ever had something you want to ask or talk about with someone, but you didn’t know exactly how to approach it?

For example, something is lingering in your mind, clouding your thoughts, but you are afraid to express it because you don’t want to upset anyone, or get them worked up?

I absolutely HATE having to bring up uncomfortable topics and/or having to ask awkward questions… especially when the overall “mood” is positive and happy.

But is the atmosphere truly happy when there is something so deeply weighing on your mind?

Keeping thoughts and questions to yourself, when they are truly bothering you, is an easy way to avoid confrontation. You hold on to the thoughts, in hopes that you they will just magically go away, or you will find some creative way to ignore them. However, what good does that do for you when there are unexpressed feelings that are weighing you down?

I have been working on trying to be more vocal with my thoughts and feelings lately. Too often in the past, I keep these feelings to myself- and they just end up “eating away” at me emotionally. I have kept deep thoughts internalized, and it does nothing but make me sad, upset, crabby, etc.

I have learned that although addressing certain things may be “uncomfortable” or “awkward” initially, they generally get sorted out and better understood once they are laid out in the open.

Open communication between people you care about – family, friends, significant others, etc. – is key to maintaining happy, healthy relationships. If you cannot be honest and open with them, you probably won’t be with anyone else.

It is not always easy for me, but for my own well being and “peace of mind” I need to be able to step away from my comfort zone at times and speak up when something is on my mind.
Express Your Feelings