Quit worrying about what they think!!

I have been working hard on accepting myself for who I truly am. Yes, like everyone I have some kinks in my life that I am still trying to untangle. However, I cannot wait until everything is “perfectly aligned” in my life to be genuinely happy. That is something that has to happen today.

It might sound silly, but I know a lot of people who struggle with the idea of ACCEPTANCE and APPROVAL.

ac·cept·ance (n): the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

ap·prov·al (n): the action of officially agreeing to something or accepting something as satisfactory.

If there is one thing I have always noticed about myself (and have actually been called out on recently), it is the need to constantly explain myself to other people. My ideas, my intentions, my thoughts, my actions… you name it, I explain it (haha). I believe I do that because I am subconsciously seeking approval from someone other than myself.

This behavior of constant explanation for approval is not only exhausting, but it probably is not very good for our health.

You seek acceptance to get approval, to ultimately feel good or happy about a decision you want to make, or an action you desire to pursue.

However, in seeking that approval, you may find yourself anxious or stressed out about what the reaction of the other person may be. Will they think your decision is good or bad? Will they call you smart or crazy? Do they agree or disagree with you?… Are you picking up what I am throwing down?! 😉

My point in all of this is, does it really matter what they think? Does their personal input/opinion truly weigh so heavily on your desire to follow through with a thought/action, that you would actually change your mind to be accepted by them?

For so long, the answer to that question for me personally was: YES. I cared so much about getting the approval of others, that I would actually change my course of action, or stop my desire to try something, if it was not seen as acceptable in the eyes of others.

Honestly, that behavior did NOTHING positive for me at all. What it did do was stress me out, make me unhappy, and make me miss out on various opportunities that I could have been enjoying.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences.

Whether it is physically being somewhere, having a certain thought, meeting different people, etc. I think those experiences are happening because you are truly meant to be having them.

My challenge – to myself and others – is this:
Listen to yourself. Follow your intuition. Act on your desires.
BE HAPPY… without the input of others.

Do something for YOU that makes YOU happy, because YOU want to do it… every day!

If people think it is strange, who cares?!
If people look at you like you are crazy, Good!

Follow your heart and open your mind and spirit to all of the things that you truly want out of life. Life is too short to be wasting your time worrying about what other people think of you.

*Disclaimer: I like to believe that I have a good head on my shoulders, so these thoughts, actions, experiences, etc. are all safe and legal (haha). Please do not do anything that could harm yourself or others.

Who is your “teacher”?

I regularly attend a Vinyasa yoga class on Wednesday nights. Each week, there is a point at the beginning of class where we set an intention to focus on throughout the practice. This intention can be anything that we choose, whether it be patience, love, strength, happiness, etc.

Last night, we were asked to think about a “teacher” that is highly influential in our life. This teacher could be human, animal, nature, spiritual, literally anything in the world that somehow shapes the person that we are.

The point of picking this teacher, was to imagine that they were there, with us through the duration of our practice. They were there to give us confidence, feed us strength and encourage us to try our best. WearetheSame

I really enjoyed this exercise. There are so many times throughout the day (and I am sure others can relate) that I am hard on myself…too hard. I easily overlook the hard work that I do, and unintentionally focus on the things that bother me. I let these “bothers” outweigh everything else, and that easily sets the tone for how I am feeling. Having my “teacher” of choice there with me throughout the practice to remind me of the ways that I am trying my best and working hard, brought an unexpected feeling of gratitude towards myself.

Although this “teacher” brought me a sense of comfort while on the mat, it also made me think about how we live in a world where we are always seeking approval and acceptance from other people. I have come to realize that we should not need to always seek validation from others, in order to know that we are trying our personal best. YOU are the best person to validate YOUR own actions.   

If I can live each day, giving 110% at everything I do, I cannot be disappointed with any outcome that I may face. Everyone has their struggles, everyone has good days and bad days… the thing that I am working on, is realizing that regardless what each day may bring, I am blessed to be able to experience it.

Namaste ❤ 

This post was written as a few months ago, and I just found it sitting in my “draft” folder (oops!!). I made a few changes/updates to be more relevant for today!  Can you tell I have been learning a lot on my mat, which can be applied to the world outside of the yoga studio?!

Lessons from my puppies.

When I look at my puppies, I cannot help but to smile. They are always so happy — full of energy and full of life. Just being around them, I sense a feeling of comfort, like everything is right in their world.

They are satisfied with their surroundings and content with being in the present moment. (As far as I know) They do not worry about the past and they do not anticipate the future. They just live their life as it unfolds, knowing that everything is going to be okay, just the way it is.

Imagine what it would be like to:

• Always be happy
• Be able to get over a confrontation with ease and just move on with your day
• Have no worries about the world around you
• Trust that your natural instincts will keep you healthy and in balance
• Love unconditionally, every single day
• Etc.

 
(Pics 1-2 are of Dexter and Pics 3-4 are of Dack)

It is hard not to envy that mentality. Sure, they may be dogs — but I think people could learn a lot from them if they took a moment to truly think about that.

I’ve written about dwelling on the past, and being preoccupied with what the future holds. As frequently as I have these thoughts, I find myself wondering WHY?!

• Why do I let the past dictate the present?
• Why do I worry about what may (or may not) come in the future?

I know it is cliché, but I love to think about the American Proverb:
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

Well I think I need to take those words into consideration. I need to see the present – every single moment – as a new opportunity to begin a new chapter and to embrace change.

I am starting to realize more and more each day, that I am in charge of my own life. I hold the pen to my life story, and whatever unfolds is ultimately up to me.

So  here is a dedication to myself. To remain present in the moment, to not fear the future and to not dwell on the past.
After all, right now really is the first opportunity to start something new and wonderful.

Here we go again…

I feel a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach, after some of the conversations that I have had over the past couple weeks.

I have been confronted a few times from my family and others, about my appearance, and concern with my health. As much as I know they care, and have good intentions with these “talks” sometimes I feel that more harm than good is done for me emotionally. Don’t get me wrong, I see and understand the concerns… but I don’t think it is always realized the impact that these words and confrontations can have on me.

I am an emotional person. I dwell on things, and let them linger and really bother me. Writing is a nice outlet for me, but it still does not resolve the fact that my feelings were hurt and I cant seem to let it go. What makes it difficult, is when I can be having a perfectly happy day, and one little comment of conversation puts a HUGE damper on everything. I can’t pretend to brush it off and smile all the time.

It is time for me to be honest with myself.

In 2012, I sought treatment for my struggles after I hit “rock bottom”. This time around, I refuse to let myself get there. Yes, I have been through a lot of life changes over the past several months, but that does not give me good reason to stop taking care of myself.

I have so much to be thankful for…. I have a new home, an amazing boyfriend (who I see a beautiful future with), a loving family, wonderful friends, strong faith, etc. etc. I feel like these blessings have been hindered by some of the hardships that I have been facing.

I am happy with my life. Yes, I may have slipped, but things have settled down and I have been making a conscious effort to enjoy each and every day.

CURRENT SITUATION:
In all honesty, I do not have the same thoughts and struggles towards food that I have had in the past. Yes, I maintain a healthy diet, but I am not afraid to splurge and treat myself once in awhile when the opportunity presents itself. I still have some hesitation when it comes to random snacking (which is crazy, because everyone should allow themselves the opportunity to enjoy a good snack).

I think now, the main thing that I worry about is exercise. I feel like I need to do something physical every day, and when I don’t exercise, I get somewhat anxious. I have been trying to spend less time going to the gym to lift weights, and more time enjoying yoga (Not go on off topic, but yoga has helped me so much throughout all of this…more on that topic later), walking my puppies to the park, or just enjoying a different hobby. What I want, is to find a healthy balance in my life. I would love to focus my time on yoga and meditation, and finding harmony between my mind and body.

Admitting a weakness is hard for me. But seeing the people I love and care about worry (about me), is even harder. I don’t like feeling vulnerable to this. Every single thing in my life is so wonderful, and it sickens me that I still have to think about this at times. I swore to myself a year ago that I would never go back to the place where I was in my past… I am not there, but I need to really work on keeping myself away (FAR AWAY) from there too.

I am going to reach out to find someone to talk to, outside of my family, friends and social circle. Having a neutral “third party” to vent/talk to has helped me in the past, and I have no doubt that it will help me again.

Let the journey to health and happiness continue…

❤

You are where you are or ever will be is up to you. You are where you are today because that is where you have chosen to be. You are always free to choose your actions, or inactions, and your life today is the sum total of your choices, good and bad. If you want your future to be different, you have to make better choices.
—Brian Tracy

 

Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts.

Have you ever had something you want to ask or talk about with someone, but you didn’t know exactly how to approach it?

For example, something is lingering in your mind, clouding your thoughts, but you are afraid to express it because you don’t want to upset anyone, or get them worked up?

I absolutely HATE having to bring up uncomfortable topics and/or having to ask awkward questions… especially when the overall “mood” is positive and happy.

But is the atmosphere truly happy when there is something so deeply weighing on your mind?

Keeping thoughts and questions to yourself, when they are truly bothering you, is an easy way to avoid confrontation. You hold on to the thoughts, in hopes that you they will just magically go away, or you will find some creative way to ignore them. However, what good does that do for you when there are unexpressed feelings that are weighing you down?

I have been working on trying to be more vocal with my thoughts and feelings lately. Too often in the past, I keep these feelings to myself- and they just end up “eating away” at me emotionally. I have kept deep thoughts internalized, and it does nothing but make me sad, upset, crabby, etc.

I have learned that although addressing certain things may be “uncomfortable” or “awkward” initially, they generally get sorted out and better understood once they are laid out in the open.

Open communication between people you care about – family, friends, significant others, etc. – is key to maintaining happy, healthy relationships. If you cannot be honest and open with them, you probably won’t be with anyone else.

It is not always easy for me, but for my own well being and “peace of mind” I need to be able to step away from my comfort zone at times and speak up when something is on my mind.

Happy Friday!

I found this image on Pinterest and thought it was a perfect way to follow-up on my last post. I am working on some new material to post in the near future 🙂

If you are on Pinterest, please follow me: http://www.pinterest.com/melissabrode/

Living in the Present Moment

I LOVE yoga. I love the beauty of the practice, I love the serenity in the meditation, I just love everything about it! Anyone who practices, knows that there are a couple of things that are highly emphasized…

1. The Breath
2. Being present in the moment

There is something to be said about the feeling of “being truly present in the moment”. In today’s world, people always seem to be preoccupied with “WHAT’S NEXT?!” in their lives. Whether it be projects at work, things going on at home, never ending to-do lists, etc. people easily lose sight of what is happening at the current moment in order to be more focused on what’s to come… I am [VERY] guilty of this too.

I often find myself thinking about the future (future meaning any time beyond right now, haha). If I am getting ready for work, I am thinking about my evening plans. If I am relaxing at home at night, I am thinking about the weekend. I think about the summer during the winter months, I think about my life in 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 years from now… you get the point.

What I am beginning to wonder is WHY? What is the rush to get to “WHAT’S NEXT” in life?
Call it goofy, corny, cliché, whatever… but I am starting to realize that being more focused, and present in the moment may really change my outlook on things. Life is so short, and all of this time spent thinking about what is going to happen in the future is time wasted on what is happening right NOW.

I am blessed in so many ways, and I hate to admit it, but I think these everyday blessings are often overlooked because I am too focused on what is going to happen next. Although my daily tasks might not be all that exciting, I need to start looking at the simple pleasures that come along with my routine and enjoying each and every day for what it is.

I am thankful for…

• Finding my true faith and having a wholesome relationship with God
• Being blessed to have Joe in my life to love
• Rescuing two healthy, happy puppies and knowing that we are giving them a great life
• My wonderful, loving family and great friends
• My career with PTI
• My healthy body, that allows me to enjoy life and can help me accomplish any goals/dreams
• Owning my own house
• Etc….

Taking a moment to sit back and realize how much I have to be thankful for, makes me realize that there is no rush to get into the “next best thing”.  Whether it be enjoying a walk with my puppies, my commute to work, my “homemade” dinners with Joe, visiting with my loved ones, etc. I am going to make a conscious effort to take each day and look at the beauty in whatever it is that I am doing.

(Please note, I understand that it is important to plan and think about the future. I am simply suggesting that it is equally important to look at the life you are currently living, and enjoying it to its full potential. You don’t want to miss the great things going on around you right now!)

Lent – Commitment & Changes

This past Wednesday (Ash Wednesday) kicked off the 2014 Lenten Season. Since (most) Christians know what this spiritual season represents, I am not going to go into exactly what it all entails.

When a lot of people think of Lent, they think of having to “give up” something they love until Easter Sunday. I have to be honest, each year I try to give something up… each year I usually end up forgetting about it 😦 I know, I know, that sounds bad… and I actually feel guilty writing that!)

Over the past two years, I have grown immensely in my faith… So this Lenten season, I am going to fully commit myself to not only giving something up, but also making a few personal changes to better my life.

ITEM TO GIVE UP
Gum… Yes that sounds goofy, but believe it or not, giving up gum is going to be difficult for me. Chewing gum is a weird “go-to” habit I have… whether it be after a meal, wanting fresh breath, if I am feeling anxious or bored, if I want to avoid over-eating/drinking, etc. I find myself resorting to it.

I have noticed how much gum I chew, and I realized it’s time to ditch it from my daily routine! So, I am going to give it up for Lent. I’m hoping that after Lent I am going to realize that chewing gum isn’t really anything exciting and just nix the habit all together.

*Disclaimer… I am allowing myself to have mints/mouthwash lol. No one likes coffee breath*

THINGS TO CHANGE
As I mentioned in my last post, I have had a lot of changes in my life over the course of the past several months. Despite the excitement, joy and fun that have come along with these changes, there has been a lot of stress involved as well. I have been thinking a lot over the past couple weeks about some personal adjustments that need to be made in my life, to make me the happiest, healthiest person that I can be. These changes are not something that can be done once, and everything will be perfect… I am talking about LIFESTYLE CHANGES!

Simple Change #1: Break the routine (again)
Some of the challenges I have dealt with over the past several years (I believe) have made me prone to become a creature of habit. I easily get comfortable, and just settle with what I am used to…whether it be good or bad for my well-being.

It is so easy to get stuck in your day-to-day routine. Every day I can pretty much pinpoint what I am going to do at different times during the day. From waking up, projects at work, meals, after work activities, going to bed…It gets old after awhile. Starting now, I am going to challenge myself to work on being open to new ideas, trying new things, going to new places, broadening my horizons. This is a lifestyle change that I am going to carry on beyond Lent. Obviously I understand that my life is not going to be filled with adventures every day… but even little things like trying a new recipe, taking the puppies on a new route for our walks, is a good place to start.

Think about: what minor changes can you make in your life that will make you a happier, healthier person? Is there something you would like to give up…a habit, an attitude, a certain “comfort zone”? Or is there something you would like to add back in to your life to make it more fulfilling?

Stop Blaming the Media for Our Body Image Issues

Stop Blaming the Media for Our Body Image Issues

I came across this interesting article from Huffington Post Women. The article argues that as a society, we need to stop blaming the media for our body image issues and focus instead on providing positive role models to girls.

I am interested in your thought’s on this!

20 Ways to LOVE Your Body!

Happy 2014! A new year brings new experiences and new opportunities. Regardless of your past, and what you may have been through, allow yourself the chance to make some changes in your life.

I found this list “TWENTY WAYS TO LOVE YOUR BODY”, and thought that it was a great reminder of how important it is to take care of yourself… both physically and emotionally. I highly recommend going through these twenty points, and asking yourself what you are going to do to be the healthiest, happiest person that you can be!

Twenty Ways To Love Your Body

1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams.  Honor it.  Respect it.  Fuel it.
2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do.  Read it and add to it often.
3. Become aware of what your body can do each day.  Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
4. Create a list of people you admire:  people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world.  Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.
5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance.  Try one!
10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.
11. Consider this:  your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months.  Your body is extraordinary—begin to respect and appreciate it.
12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.  Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.
15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body.  Loving your body means you get to feel like that again, even in this body, at this age.
16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself—without mentioning your appearance.  Add to it daily!
17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”
18. Search for the beauty in the world and in yourself.
19. Consider that, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”
20. Eat when you are hungry.  Rest when you are tired.  Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

Compiled By: Margo Maine, PhD
Source: NEDA Website